The Boss tells Stories

Bruce Springsteen held me spellbound for his entire Storytellers set, and I've ended up watching it multiple times. I wish I could find the entire program so I could post it. He is such a humble, honest artist and by virtue of that he is improving the human condition. Helping us to see ourselves.

Living Through The Past

I've had the privilege of listening to a few snippets of Colby Stead's forthcoming album and it has helped me come to one very basic conclusion I'm sure most of you have already known. It's about the concept of "living in the past." Primarily I've thought of people who live in the past as underachievers who never got to live the dream and are somehow unable to let it go: The basketball player who revels in his glory days and is determined to prove himself, even at the expense of friends and neighbors, at in the local community ball tournament. The mother who never achieved herself and pushes her daughter through years of dance classes so she can live vicariously through the performances, even though her daughter would rather be conducting science experiments. Living in the past.

But it really goes beyond all that. Sports are one thing, but abuse, guilt projection, and suicide are another. It can be a harmful cycle, the past becoming one big snake eating it's own tail. I didn't really consider further implications of the idea until listening to this music. Everyone must somehow reconcile themselves with their own past if they want to live a healthy life. That means finding truth through your own mistakes, and sometimes through the mistakes of others who have wronged you or ones you love. It is so easy to get hung up on those moments of pain or dreams that never were. In fact, getting hung up on them is probably a necessary part of healing. But unless you can somehow move through it and get to the perspective of the other side I'm not so sure a complete catharsis can occur. I'm not even sure how that bridge is actually built. But I am sure that the whole process is a forgiveness of sorts and that it requires large amounts of bravery and honesty. I admire people who can do it--live in spite of the past. Live through the past.

Bon Iver

It's called For Emma, Forever Ago, and it is my favorite album so far this year. I was a little worried after listening for a minute that I might not like the vocals. Sometimes I get really bummed out by all the weirdy-ness of vocalists like Spencer Krug (Wolf Parade, Sunset Rubdown, Frog's Eyes, Swan Lake, how-many-more-bands-can-one-possibly-play-in-?). But I digress.

This really is fantastic songwriting. The hooks are really beautiful, and though the lyrics are a bit cryptic there is some great imagery:

There's a black crow sitting across from me
And his wiry legs are crossed
And he's dangling my keys (he even fakes a toss)
Whatever could it be that has brought me to this loss?

This is not the sound of a new man
Or a crispy realization
It's the sound of the unlocking and lift away
Your love will be safe with me


That's nice, isn't it? Definitely worth buying or at least checking it out from the library, or the very least burning from your buddy down the street.

Everything is Illuminated

I love this book in concept. I love the journey, the language, the energy, the search, the foreboding unresolvability. But the one thing which served in large part as a deal breaker, was the sexuality. And I'm not that squeamish of a guy, but for me it only served to harm the story, and is, unfortunately, the sole reason I will never be able to recommend this book in good faith to anyone I know, which is sad because it really doesn't have anything to do with what, for me, was the central journey and central questions of the book. Foer's writing is amazing, and I'm waiting (and will continue to wait patiently) to be floored by him.

The Pursuit of Greatness

I'm Back

The break felt nice. Feels fresher around here. Time to post again.

Crossing the Bar

by Alfred Lloyd Tennyson

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar
When I put out to sea.

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam.
When that which drew from the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell
When I embark.

For, though from out our bourne of time and place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crossed the bar.


This beautiful poem, as a traditional hymn set to music, was performed by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir at Pres. Hinckley's funeral over the weekend. It was amazing. To hear it click here and forward to the 25:35 min. mark. (Windows Media Player req.)

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A Farewell to Arms

I'd forgotten how amazing Hemingway's sparse writing really is. I listened to most of this book on a trip to Idaho last weekend and quickly finished what was left over the other night. Previous to this I had read The Sun Also Rises and The Old Man and the Sea, along with some other short stories, but for me this was the most emotional and most affecting. Perhaps because of its artful combination of war and romance and the way it all tumbles toward the desperate conclusion. I learned a bit more about human connection (and disconnection). I am including three exerpts I really liked.

Henry and Catherine on bravery:

"They won't get us," I said. "Because you're too brave. Nothing ever happens to the brave."
"They die of course."
"But only once."
"I don't know. Who said that?"
"The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one?"
"Of course. Who said it?"
"I don't know."
"He was probably a coward," she said. "He knew a great deal about cowards but nothing about the brave. The brave dies perhaps two thousand deaths if he's intelligent. He simply doesn't mention them."
"I don't know. Its hard to see inside the head of the brave."
"Yes. Thats how they keep it that way."

Henry and the Priest regarding war:

"You cannot believe how it has been. Except that you have been there and you know how it can be. Many people have realized the war this summer. Officers whom I thought could never realize it realize it now."
...
"It is in defeat that we become Christian."
"The Austrians are Christians--except for the Bosnians."
"I don't mean technically Christian. I mean like Our Lord."
He said nothing.
"We are all gentler now because we are beaten. How would Our Lord have been if Peter had rescued him in the Garden?"

Henry's reverie about love, loneliness and the killing world:

"Often a man wishes to be alone and a girl wishes to be alone too and if they love each other they are jealous of that in each other, but I can truly say we never felt that. We could feel alone when we were together, alone against the others. It has only happened to me like that once. I have been alone while I was with many girls and that is the way that you can be most lonely. But we were never lonely and never afraid when we were together...If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."

Gordon Bitner Hinckley

You were my prophet. Even though I was already finishing high-school when you assumed the mantle, I grew up with you. And growing up isn't easy. You have to face up to yourself even when it is frightening. And you have to let go of certain things and put them away. And you helped me realize that by doing that I wasn't going to find an empty and vaccuous life, but fulfillment and joy and beauty. I'll never forget your smile and your compassion. Your humor never belittled, but rather elevated others. Thank you for the Perpetual Education Fund. Thank you for the temples. Thank you for not being afraid to get out and meet even the most far off Saints. And though these thanks all belong to Jesus, the mouthpeice deserves mention too. Though you don't know it, you were there for one of the most spiritually fulfilling months of my life, even for an experience I haven't been able to bring myself to talk about, not even with those closest to me. And secretly I wished that before you died I could have given you a hug. I hope it's not selfish, but I really wanted to meet you. Thats okay though. Millions shall know you yet.